Monday, 14 May 2012

Family, Friends and Strangers.

                                    Family, Friends and Strangers.

Presently, events unfolding in my life are going to be vital lessons I’ll  enlighten my children with when dealing on self-reliance. What have been going through these past weeks are disconcerting but somehow I've still found the strength to persevere. Situations around me are so frustrating but yet still, somehow I've held on. Holding unto faith as it gives me hope. I'll focus on expressing the most mind sucking one. It's quite challenging when everyone seems to believe all is blissful with you yet, you dont share perceived material bliss with them. Even after explaining to them their misconception,  they rigidly choose not to believe.  Often enough, people I thought were dear to me have pestered insinuations repeatedly at me stating nothing beneficial "materially" comes from me to them. Whereas, gospel truth is at this season, I have nothing and been so considerate with myself "materially" not to talk of being able to share extensively. The little I have, I try to share but  surprisingly, I've been met by guts of the begger always asking for more out of the misled conception. This has led to many broken friendships and unsolved indifferences. Well, it has taught me a valuable lesson; you might disagree but most times, an interested stranger is your best friend. 

The stranger neither knows your capabilities or inadequacies thus makes him/her curious. This inquisitivity gives you some sort of leverage to being offered trust or conditional assistance at that particular time without  you having to earn it.  Truth be told, those we have known for a long time, have a cap to what they can do for you. It's called "see finish".

Everything in life is reciprocal. Nothing is encouraged as one-way traffic except Nigerian motorists. In our most desperate and needing times, rarely is anyone unconditionally loving and caring to you without hope for some kind of reward. There is always an envisioned compensation; abstractly or tangibly. People reach out rationally, there always has to be something also in remuneration for them. The un-sacrificial orientation sucks my energy and continually distorts me because I believe a real man is shown through what he does and how he treats those who he has no capability to gain from.

So, this notion and perception of me- always blessed and blissful, never seeming to lack or need, always got it figured out; I tend to wonder, is it a blessing to me or otherwise. Is it strengthening for me or stifling my growth? No man can do it all alone. Even in my most empty, impoverished and impecunious circumstances, hardly can anyone tell or ponder by my presence am in need. Is this helpful or awful? Its always believed all is well and when or if I do reach out, the response is taken sarcastically, or intentionally not as pleasant as to when reverse is the case of me personally extending such assisting gestures. My right fingers are much of a measure to count those around me who have truly accepted my consistent vulnerability and tough situations these past weeks. Everyone, even some in family have been passively chalant or subjected me to individual query and faults either verbally or attitudinally. But in hope, have taken the strife and I’ll take the challenge, ascertaining such is life. The only one who has been consistently compassionate to me can’t obviously turn her steadfast and consistent tree into a forest for us both. If she could, I know she would. But am glad for seeing the imbalance between her side and others held so dear. For now, I am glaring open and conceived to the cadre of love and commitment I should disburse and who is worthy of the target audience. The challenge is on me to water her tree continuously and plant seeds around it so as to create other trees that would catalyze our own forest, our own environment and eventually, our own world.

Often times, I had confused incompetence to be the same as incapacity. Recently, until I wore shoes of the latter, I never knew they were totally different. My environment or largely those am around a lot equate and deduce worth to be costs, they are wrong. Quite frankly and in optimism, am grateful to my distorting situation and its human enablers. Am grateful to them for the pain because out of it I now understand love. Am grateful to them for personal castigations because out of it would definitely come self re-evaluation and order. Grateful to them for conditional affections and subliminal friendship jettisoning because out of it bore a long needed inter- personal strategy. Hope now is my closest companion and it stirred with faith is a limitless recipe.  I grow and blossom, my distorting human enablers and myself would be attracted to one another and again be re-united, in fact very closely reunited but then, I’ll be very much more closer to them not because they are friends but because of what they were sent by God to teach me and my understanding to identify them for who they are- conditional mutual beneficiaries and indirect opportunists I can’t do without.

Jide Alara.

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  1. Nice write up, but I quite disagree about an 'interested stranger being your best friend'. Most times these so called interested strangers are actually not strangers, you would be surprised as to how much they actually know about you but pretend not to. Have had a similar experince, my advice would be to be very cautious of strangers posing to actually like you when they don't know jack about you.

    1. Thank you Homely. I guess the situation in context is rather quite relative but my expressions subliminally referred to confirm them a general conclusion, it shouldn't be. However, these notions i hold are facts actually expressed from experience. Often times, at desperate and particular moments of need, a stranger has been my best friend. Maybe its my ability to influence people or guardian angels in human form sent by God but, they'v always turned out to be strangers and then we cultivate unbelievable strong lasting relationships. To me, those who know everything about us or whom we share blood relations with aren't only family; those we can and who also bleed for us are. But, i'll still take your advice and be cautious. Cheers.


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